So what?
by Isis-light
Summary: So what if I hate broccoli? So what if I do what I want? So what if I was in a near fatal car crash? So what if I only have two months to live? Yep, that's right. I only have two months to live... so what? Right? Hitsugaya x OC
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one: Unravelling.

**"Look, isn't there something we can do about the nose bleeds? And the headaches? They're messing up my social life." **

**The doctor stared at my profile and with a depressed sigh, lightly shook his head. "Saki, you suffered severe-"**

**"-Brain trauma, I know. Well since you can't help, I guess I'll be seeing you next month." I quickly stood from my seat and walked towards the door before turning back with a smile on my face. "If I'm still alive by then."**

* * *

Lightly picking at the food on my plate, I sat in silence by myself before sighing and covering the food only to place it back in the fridge.

I pulled out my pen and ticked off another day on my calendar.

Another day.

Suddenly I was pulled to sit back down as the world around me appeared to be spinning rapidly, I held my head in my hands and shut my eyes tightly before feeling something warm run over my hands.

Blood.

"Shit!" I shouted and darted to the bathroom, I tilted my head back and grabbed tissue until the nose bleed stopped. It was happening more often than I had expected, some mornings I would wake up and find a huge blood smear all over my pillow. Almost like a crime scene...

When finally the bleeding stopped, I ran some water to clean the blood from my face and hands. After draining the bloody water I stared at my reflection in the mirror: Brown hair, black eyes-

My stomach churned and quickly I tumbled over the toilet and threw up the little I had eaten just a moment ago, I held onto the railing for support as I grew dizzier and dizzier. The bitter taste of stomach fluids filled my mouth causing me to quickly use water to rinse my mouth before brushing my teeth... again.

I held against the sink and shook my head after rinsing my mouth of the toothpaste; I grabbed my bag and walked out the house, shutting the door behind me. I stepped out into the open and walked down the stairs of my apartment.

"Hey Saki!" my best friend Hinamori said to me with a simple wave before charging at me full force and embracing me in a hug.

"Hey Hinamori, what's up?" I asked her with a smile as soon as she released me.

"So how did the check up go? Can they do something? Will you be okay?"

"It went well, they said I'm getting better and I'll be fine." I told her happily, I know it's wrong to lie and stuff but the less people worry about me... the better.

"That's great!" she chimed and dragged me behind her as we headed into school.

"Yeah... great..." I looked down at my feet as we walked in to class.

As soon as the door slid open we entered the foreign territory called... The Classroom. Slowly and very carefully we made our way through and towards our seats, with exception for me tripping over a sandwich and Hinamori getting hit with a paper plane.

"We made it!" I told her as I got to my seat dead beat.

"Alright everybody take your seats!" Hiyori-sensei held her hands at her hips with the same scoff plastered on her face, promptly everybody moved to their seats and remained silent awaiting her response. "Good, now stay like that," she commanded us like animals before calling our names out to see who was absent.

"-Saki?"

"Present," I raised my hand with my head still pressed to my table. Soon enough she had finished and began with her lesson until a knock was heard at the door.

"Come in!" she shouted and continued on the board, the door slid open and in came a white haired guy. I took one glance at him before placing my head back on my table; my headache had come back all in one morning.

"Oh you must be the new boy, introduce yourself if you want."

"Toushiro Hitsugaya," the guy said and bowed very lightly. A simultaneous squeal came from most of the girls in the class and a groan from most of the guys.

"Alright then- now to find you a seat- ah there's one! Saki, could you raise your hand please?"

I raised my hand weakly and waited until I heard someone take a seat in front of me before putting my hand back down. I felt pieces of something hit me and turned to Hinamori who finally threw me a piece of paper with a bedazzled look on her face.

**Isn't the new guy just gorgeous!**

I stared at the piece of paper for a moment then crushed it and tossed it back to Hinamori as my answer, I knew I shouldn't have come to school today; my head is pounding badly. I rested my head on my one hand while the other flipped through my pages, out of curiosity I looked forward to catch a glimpse of the white haired guy now known as Toushiro.

Fine, I'll give it to Hinamori... he's okay.

I reached into my backpack as I checked my watch, reaching for my timetable I realized we had physical education next... yay swimming... how enthralling. I'm not supposed to be doing anything that over exerts me but it's not like I can hand a letter saying I'm allergic to everything that requires movement and neither can I tell them of my 'condition'.

I don't want anyone's pity.

"Hey Saki, hurry we're going to be late! The bell rang already!" Hinamori packed my books away for me and I snapped out of my thoughts, she thrust my bag at me and smiled before grabbing my hand and running with me towards the girls change rooms.

We all got changed into our costumes and walked towards the pool area to meet Kurosaki-sensei waiting for us. We could tell he had already had a swim of his own by the mere fact that water glistened on his muscular chest and his hair stuck to his face, most of the girls clasped their hands and stared longingly at sensei.

Female perverts.

I felt like chuckling at my own thoughts and covered my mouth to withhold my laughter, that was until the guys showed up.

"Alright, you guys know the drill: five laps of whatever you do best. Get going." Sensei told us and we all formed a line in alphabetical order, two by two we entered into the cold water and began our best strokes.

I dived into the water as soon as sensei had blown the whistle and swam, damn the water was cold! Freestyle was my best stroke as I was faster at it and wanted to get out of the water quickly, I tapped the timer on the other end and caught my breath before going under to swim back to the other side but...

As soon as I went back into the water, I felt as though there was an earthquake going on in my head then unexpectedly a sharp pain surged through my body causing me to release the oxygen I still had in my mouth and exchange it for pool water.

I tried to reach back up to the surface but found it difficult to move and pretty soon my body gave in and I began falling to the bottom of the pool.

"Saki!"

* * *

**This just came to mind purely out of boredom so please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: Crazy physco

"**Is there any way that you c-can d-do something?"**

**No response came from the man seated in front of me; I clenched my fist and gritted my teeth before standing up angrily and walking out. Taking slow steps through the corridor and inhaling the annoyingly familiar hospital scent. I stopped dead still as nurses came pushing a stretcher in front of them, a body covered with a white cloth. **

**I gulped and stood aside to allow for them to move.**

**The pale, cold hand of whoever it was on the stretcher gently tipped my own and my eyes widened.**

"Saki!" Hinamori screamed, people gasped as they watched me drift to the bottom of the pool.

Why can't I move?

I was told I'd only feel weakness in my fingers or toes...not my entire body.

Once again a sharp pain filled me and my eyes widened. "AAARGH!" I choked through the water and when it had sub sided I found I was beginning to lose consciousness out as my eyes involuntarily began to close until-

A strong hand grabbed my own and pulled my half conscious body back to the surface, I coughed out some of the water that I had managed to get into my body and found my nose the bridge burned. I turned back to my rescuer and stared at a gasping Toushiro who looked back at me then stood up to walk away.

"Saki, do you need to go to the infirmary?" sensei asked me as he crouched down, I nodded my head and tried to stand up but my legs weren't very co-operative with my cause as they buckled, fortunately Hinamori came to my aid.

"Hinamori, I'm not going to the infirmary." I told the said person who was helping me walk, at this she stopped and stared at me confusedly. "I need to change in any case,"

"Why not? I'm sure Unohana-sensei will be able to find out what-"

"I know what's wrong," I told her as I removed my costume and put on my shirt and skirt on, normally something like this would happen in the early morning like today and with the occasional headache but never...

"I'm fine anyway, it's just the tablets I took this morning. Just a side effect, don't worry." I smiled to her and she smiled back, Hinamori would believe anything I told her even if it was that the sky was purple.

"If you're sure then okay, but are we going to wait here until PE is over?" she asked and changed as well, I smirked at her and nodded before sitting down on a bench.

"I'll see you monday Saki!" Hinamori waved to me as we parted ways to our respective homes after school. I waved back to her and slapped my forehead as I walked on the pavement.

I can't believe I almost drowned in front of my class mates, that must be the most embarrassing thing in the world!

I stopped when I got to the street light, I waited for the cars to go by until the sign signalled for pedestrians to walk.

When the light had turned green for me, I stepped onto the road only to be harshly pulled back.

"Hey!" I shouted and came face to face with the culprit, Toushiro. "What are you doing?!"

"Saving your life... Again." He answered and I frowned, he motioned for me to turn back to the road and I realized the traffic light was still red.

I'm pretty sure-

Am I losing my mind as well?

"T-Thanks." I told him and he grabbed my arm to walk with me across, as soon as we got to the other side he let me go and continued on his way with his earphones in his ears. "Hey, wait up!"

He continued walking ahead of me until I caught up and held his shoulder as I attempted to catch my breath. "Geez, I just wanted to say thank you for saving me in the pool today."

He turned his head to me and removed one ear phone, "Huh?"

I frowned and released his shoulder before walking ahead of him "Nothing, new boy".

"New boy?" he raised an eyebrow awkwardly as I fixed the bag I had on my back and walked home.

I dropped my bag on the counter and walked to the bathroom to grab my medicine in my medicine box: Pain killers and

I grabbed whatever I could eat in the fridge and took my medicine soon after before collapsing in front of the television. Ironically my thoughts drifted to Toushiro, a smirk came to my face.

I was saved not only once but twice in one day.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three: Sadness.

My eyes slowly flickered open, I stared at the ceiling and for a while I traced the decorations with my eyes. It was two in the morning and I could barely find the energy to move even a little bit. I brought my hand to my forehead in exhaustion and groaned. I know I was tired but as soon as I hit the bed, I couldn't sleep, it's like saying you're hungry but when given food; can't eat.

My temperature was high, that much I was sure of; I began to sweat suddenly and found my head was spinning and vision was blurry.

"Why is this always happening?!" I groaned as I turned to face the wall, and held my head in my hands. I shut my eyes tightly as I waited for everything to just go away, I felt my throat clench and soon enough a splitting headache found its way.

"Think happy thoughts," I told myself repeatedly and tried hard but the pain wouldn't let up, my whole body felt like it was on fire and I broke into cold sweat. I could feel the pressure from my heart beating rapidly on my neck, whilst shivers ran down my spine.

Was I going to die this day?

I immediately thrust the blanket off my body and clasped my hand over my mouth as I darted for the bathroom.

My upper body contracted with each time I took a breath to throw up once again, the sun hadn't eve risen and it was still dark outside. Almost like the night I-

I coughed badly and spat out blood, those damn tablets don't help with anything! I leaned back against the door and slid to the floor in exhaustion, I'm tired of this already... it's enough now.

I ran a hand through my hair tiredly; lightly banging my head against the door, I groaned in pain.

24 June 18:34 (Four months ago)

"Aren't you hungry?" My brother Sakuro asked me whilst noticing how I was playing with my food, I lifted my head to look at him. A blank expression plastered on my face, he smiled at me as usual. Whilst Sakuro had brown hair and black eyes, I had black hair and brown eyes, we were practically the opposite of each other.

"I'm going to my room." I told him before standing and walking to my room, I heard him sigh and push his plate away from himself in frustration.

I threw myself on my bed and smothered my face in my pillow, tears filling the warm pillow. All they had told us was that mother was sick and passed, people called to offer their sympathy and condolences as we stayed in Japan but mother stayed in America.

I didn't cry... they said it was because it had not sunk in yet and that sooner or later I would break down.

They were right.

I hadn't eaten or slept the past three days and exhaustion loomed over my body, I had bags under my eyes and looked as though I just came out of a horror movie.

She meant everything to me! How could anyone ever understand what it feels to lose someone that impor-

Knock.

Knock.

I diverted my attention to the door and quickly wiped my tears away, I snivelled and placed my pillow over my head to try and block out the sound of Sakuro.

"Saki, can I come in?" Sakuro calmly asked, I mumbled a faint 'yes' in reply. He slowly opened the door and patted the bed beside me three times before he took a seat next to me on my bed; Sakuro had this annoying habit of his that he'd always repeat an action more than once. For instance, if he'd lock a door, he'd go back less than five seconds later and unlock it, just to lock it again. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine now are you finished?"

"I understand, you're in pain-" He placed a warm hand over my shoulder with a small smile but I shook it off disgustedly. He looked down at his hand with sadness; I could tell his eyes were glossy and he was near tears but bit it back before he turned to smile at me once more.

"In pain? You think I'm in pain?" I lifted my head and turned to him with a sarcastic look on my face "I'm not in pain Sakuro, I'm dying right here!" I pointed to my heart and stood up, we stared at each other for a moment, Sakuro took my hand and pressed it to his heart.

He shut his eyes before smiling lightly "You're not the only one Saki,"

At first sadness rushed through me but soon enough it was replaced with anger causing me to rip my hand away from Sakuro, I angrily rushed to the door and slammed it shut behind me as I ran downstairs.

"Saki! Wait!" I heard Sakuro run downstairs after me.

I quickly grabbed my coat and pulled the front door open, a cold breeze washed over me before I walked away.

The rain poured over my body with each step I took, I shoved my hands into my pockets and slid my wet hair back, I increased my pace for a strange reason.

"Saki!" brother called as he pulled the door open, I continued on faster and placed my hood over my head. I wanted to block everything out, everyone out. I wanted things to go back to the way they always were, I want everything that happened to just disappear.

I clenched my fist in anger as I gritted my teeth.

I reached a cross road and didn't bother to check the street light as I ran across the wet and slippery road. As I ran, my left foot stepped in front of my right and I tripped over my own feet, I fell on the wet tar.

"Ow," I whispered before trying to lifting myself up, my ankle pained like hell bringing me back down to the tar. I shut my eyes as I winced in pain, I probably sprained it... badly.

"Saki!"

Bright headlights came into my view... very quickly. I tried to stand up quickly but by then the car was close-

I shut my eyes in wait of impact.

"SAKI!"

Screech!

Bang!

Silence.

Last thing I remember was blood pouring from my head and a throbbing at my chest, weakly my eyes flickered open and I turned as the car sped off into the distance. I lay on my back on the other pavement on the other side of the road, I painfully lifted my head and my eyes widened-

Sakuro!

"Sa-Sak-" I tried to speak but I could barely move as more rain hit my body. Sakuro lay on the road a small distance from me, unmoving. He had blood running from his mouth, ears, everywhere. A huge gash present on his head. His eyes shut and blood surrounded him, his shirt had a tear on it and his right arm looked dislocated from his shoulder.

I tried to crawl towards him heaven knows I tried so hard to reach for him.

-The further I moved the darker and blurrier the image became until-

Nothing.

Bleep.

Bleep.

Bleep.

My eyes slowly opened and at first all I could see was a blurry image of a ceiling then with a few blinks I saw a clearer image. I gazed down at the oxygen mask I had on my face and took a deep breath before a nurse walked into my room.

"Doctor, the girl is awake." She said then walked out only to walk back in with a doctor beside her, he walked up to me and used a small flash light to check my eyes. He smiled warmly at me before checking my drip.

"Wha-What h-h-"

"Don't talk; your body is exhausted from the accident,"

"A-accident?" I questioned but then flash backs of what happened reached me, my eyes widened and I turned back to the doctor. "S-S-Sakuro?"

"Young lady, you should rest now," the doctor told me but I shook my head.

"S-Sakuro,"

"Nurse," the doctor called on her and she injected some chemical into my drip, I shook my head at her but she didn't stop. Slowly my eyes grew heavy and it became a mission to stay awake as my vision blurred, I finally gave in and lay my head back, I allowed myself to sink into sleep.

"Sakuro," I whispered before finally resting

**So don't forget to review because... as a treat I've decided to give a preview for the next chapter: Unexpected **

"**So you're not following me around?"**

**Toushiro looked down at me with an –are-you- crazy- look printed all over his face, I scowled at him before walking ahead.**

"**Crazy psycho," I called him.**

"**What?"**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm so sorry for the confusion but let me set it straight: Saki has black hair and brown eyes; Sakuro has brown hair and black eyes. So if you're also wondering some symptoms of severe brain trauma include: Headaches, Dizziness, Blurry vision, Nausea and vomiting, Ringing in the ears, changes in emotions and sleep patterns.**

Chapter four: Unexpected.

I'd planned to lie in bed all day since I've been up all morning, I barely had the energy to pick the remote and turn the TV on, that was just how bad it was. Somehow I finally found the energy to pull myself together, partly because I realized I was out of milk and wanted cereal.

I took a warm shower and changed into casual clothing before walking out and locking the door behind me. The streets were filled with people walking in different direction, going about their daily lives... willing another day on.

I walked into the grocery store, I leisurely took my time in walking to the back where the refrigerators were and grabbed a bottle of milk and some cool drink and some chips and some- no Saki! Fight the temptation!

I walked over to the till and paid for my items, I thought I placed my wallet into my right backside pocket but found it wasn't there, that was when searching for my wallet turned into a full body dance. After I found it in my right pocket, I placed my items in a bag and walked out.

Gently sniffing the morning breeze, I smiled and continued walking back home when I caught glimpse of something or rather someone leaning against a wall.

I stopped to stare.

Toushiro.

He had his eyes closed and was listening to some music with his arms folded over his chest. I walked over to him and waved my hand in his face continuously, I made faces in front of him causing me to giggle at my foolishness.

"Having fun?" he asked me and I jolted backwards in fright.

"Well I was until you had to do that," I told him, he slowly opened his beautiful turquoise eyes to look back at me with a sigh before he walked away.

"It was peaceful until a moment ago," he whispered and I scowled at him.

"Tch, you're so stuck up." I replied and walked my own way, I tossed the stuff I went to go buy on the table top before grabbing the milk and some chocolate cereal. I sat at the table and poured the milk over my cereal, I didn't take the time to watch the milk turn chocolate as I usually did and dunked my spoon in to take a full bite from it, boy was I starving!

In the midst of my quick eating my eyes came to rest on the calendar I had on my fridge and immediately my appetite was ruined. I dropped my spoon allowing it to make a clanging sound and walked over to the calendar; I grabbed a pen and marked off another day.

I sighed as my fingers travelled over every day I crossed out, "Just forty two more days... Sakuro,"

I couldn't stand the sight of the calendar any further, I moved my hand away and forced myself to finish my cereal... can't let it go to waste either way, I have medicine I need to take in anycase.

I tossed my head back as I swallowed the tablets and drank water before closing my medicine kit and walking back to bed, I'm so glad it's the weekend! Now I can just slee-

Ring!

I turned to see my phone ringing; I danced a little to the ringtone before smiling and bringing it to my ear.

"Oi, Hinamori, what do you want? I was just about to fall asleep."

"At this time, it's practically noon!"

"Hey, if you had the morning I had, you wouldn't be complaining. Now what do you want?" It was true, I had an exhausting morning and would prefer to have a restful evening.

"Just wanted to check up on y-"

"-I'm fine, now if that's it-" I held the phone away from myself, my finger lingering over the end call button.

"-aaaand, I wanted to tell you some exciting news!"

"Is this the part that I don't hang up on you and pretend to care?"

"Guess who asked me on a date? Sosuke! Can you believe it?!" she excitedly chirped, I groaned in exhaustion as I was tempted to just fall asleep and let her blabber on.

"Really! How cool, well if that's it-"

"I'm so confused about what to wear; I keep thinking a dress but then there always my jeans and shirt or maybe-"

"Look, how about I just come to your place, maybe if I let you vent then I'll get some sleep."

"YES! Jeez, I was wondering when you were going to suggest that?"

I ended call with a shake of my head; I grabbed my shoes and shoulder bag that had nothing in particular in it. I lazily walked back out, Hinamori's place wasn't that far from my place so walking would merely take me approximately ten minutes, I rubbed my eyes and yawned with each step I took.

I stopped as I got to another cross road, I felt like I was being overshadowed as a figure stood beside me and curiously I turned to who it was and frowned.

"Tch, you again." I said to him and he merely ignored me. "So you're following me around?"

Toushiro looked down at me with an 'are-you- crazy' look printed all over his face, I scowled at him before walking ahead.

"Crazy psycho," I called him.

"What?"

"You heard me," I yawned once more "Don't you have a home or somewhere to be, instead of wandering around and seeing me all the time?"

"It's none of your concern,"

My body was growing hot for some unknown reason and I placed a hand to my forehead to check my temperature. Nothing was wrong; perhaps it's the heat causing this.

"Whatever you say,"

My vision was slowly starting to blur but I shook it off and trudged along, a part of me was warning me to sit somewhere and take it easy but I shook that off just the same. I turned my head back to see Toushiro still walking behind me.

"You are following me!"

He simply rolled his eyes before pointing to a house just ahead, "Actually, I'm going home. And I'm sorry but this is the only route I can take,"

I scowled at him once more before my legs grew weak and abruptly I crashed to the ground as though I had tripped on something, a bead of sweat rolled down my chin and hit the ground, Toushiro slowly crouched down to me.

"Oi, are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine. It's your fault; if you hadn't preoccupied me so much, I wouldn't have tripped." I tried to sound smug but exhaustion took a life of its own.

"You look sick,"

"I'm fine," I tried to stand with wobbly knees, I smirked at him but as soon as I took one step I was brought back down to the ground. "Damnit!"

"You need help there?" he asked with concern as passersby looked at us strangely, "Look, you're making people think, I'm bullying you or something so just get up already,"

Once again; I took a deep breath and stood up, I tried to smile but couldn't. I could feel that I was about to fall but Toushiro held my arm, keeping me still. He pulled my shoulder bag away from me, placing it on his own; he walked in front of me and crouched a little.

"Jump," he told me, my eyes widened. "I can't stay like this forever,"

"YOU EXPECT ME TO ALLOW YOU TO CARRY ME ON YOUR BACK?!"

"Would you prefer to be in my arms then?" he responded, I could almost picture a smug smirk on his face right now. With defeat, I climbed on his back and he wrapped his arms around my thigh to keep me on. I pressed my head to his back and wrapped my arms around his neck in attempt to hide from people's strange stares.

"Thank you," I whispered and rested on his back some more, ironically I found comfort in this position so much so... that I fell asleep.

"Oi, so where exactly am I taking you?" he asked.

No response.

"Hey,"

No response.

He tilted his head back lightly and found my sleeping form, my breathing paced; Toushiro sighed deeply but trudged along all the same.

**Okay chappie up and done! Hold on, I've got a little preview of next chapter just for you: Truly a crazy psycho.**

"**Do you know how many girls are dying just to kiss this cheek?!"**

**I arched and eyebrow at him before taking a pen and scribbling on the cheek he pointed to, "Ah, I can see why now,"**

**Toushiro glared daggers at me, "Oh, what was that? You want the other side too?" I spoke and pasted the other cheek with a smile on my face.**

"**That looks so much better! You don't even have to pay for it!"**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five: Truly a crazy psycho

"**Doctor, where's Sakuro?" I asked tiredly as he used the stethoscope, he then checked my eyes before staring at me with a small smile on his face.**

"**You're making progress,"**

"**That doesn't answer my question, how is aaah-" I placed my hand to my head in pain.**

"**Your body is still unable to handle anything yet and until you are ready, physically and mentally; I won't be telling you anything," he patted my head lightly "So rest for now,"**

My eyes flickered open and I stared at the ceiling, I yawned before feeling a vibration in my back pocket. I picked the phone up and saw Hinamori's number, I propped myself uncomfortably and reached for the phone.

"Hey, what's up? How's the date?"

"WHAT'S UP!? HOW'S THE DATE!? WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?! WHAT HAPPENED TO 'I'LL JUST DROP BY YOUR PLACE.'!" Hinamori mimicked my voice pathetically; I scratched my head with my eyes closed.

"What are you talking about? I am at you place!"

"No you're not,"

"Yes I am,"

"Saki, I am sitting on my bed right now and you aren't here." She pointed out matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean? I am on your bed... aren't I?" I scanned the room and realized the walls didn't have any boy-band posters or that photo of Sosuke glued to her ceiling. My eyes widened and I unconsciously dropped the phone to the ground, the battery came out and whatever Hinamori had planned to say was put on hold.

I got out of whoever bed I was on and grabbed my shoulder bag, I walked over to the window, gently pushing them both open I planned to jump out the window and evade an awkward moment. I swung one leg over and prepared to pick the other one-

"What are you doing?" I heard a highly depressing voice behind me.

I paused and turned around robotically to see Toushiro with a bottle of water at hand, he stared at me quizzically.

The very awkward moment I was trying to avoid!

"I was- you-uh- I wanted to get some fresh air!"

"You wanted to get fresh air so much, that you have to have one leg dangling just outside the window," he arched an eyebrow at me, I bit down on my lip.

"Well my leg got hot!"

"I'm sure it did," he replied sarcastically before walking up to me and placing the bottle of water in my hands. "It's late in any case, and I don't plan on having you crash at my place so the sooner you get your leg cool enough, the sooner I can walk you home before you plan on collapsing on the street."

"You think you're so cool, don't you?"

"Says the one who fell asleep on my back,"

I stuck my tongue out at him and pulled away from the window when a picture came to view, it was Toushiro standing beside some woman. He held a frown on his face whilst the orange haired woman grinned happily.

"A friend of yours?" I asked and he stopped dead in his tracks before looking at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Matsumoto was nothing but an annoyance that always managed to cause trouble every where she went."

I picked the picture up and smiled, "She's pretty,"

"Whatever," he replied and continued walking, he's so cold.

I shifted the angle the picture was in before smiling and walking after him as he led me out. It was around seven in the evening and the sun had set.

He shut the door behind us as we walked into the street, street lamps illuminated the roads. I clung onto my shoulder bag with each step I took.

"Thanks for today," I told him and turned my head, he kept his hands in his pockets as he walked and merely nodded to my comment.

"A possible 'you're welcome' would be much appreciated," I rolled my eyes at him, he shrugged before pulling out his phone and listening to music through his ear phones. "How rude!?I'm trying to make conversation with you and-"

He abruptly pulled me to him, keeping me under his shoulder with one arm and his hand over my mouth.

"Aaah! Do you hear that?" he asked as he continued to walk with his eyes closed. I mumbled a muffled reply, "It's called silence, and I tend to be getting less and less of it the past three days due to me meeting you."

I rolled my eyes before shoving him away and walking beside him, "You're such an annoyance,"

"Whatever,"

I grunted before pulling out a pen I had in my backpack, don't ask why cause... I felt like it. I walked ahead of him and stopped just in front; I held him by the shoulder and doodled whiskers on his left cheek. He stopped me and rubbed on his cheek before glaring daggers at me.

"Do you know how many girls are dying just to kiss this cheek?!"

I arched an eyebrow at him, "Oh, what was that? You want the other side too?" I spoke and did the other cheek with a smile on my face.

"That looks so much better! You don't even have to pay for it!"

He rubbed his cheek and growled angrily "You're so annoying,"

As Toushiro had said that my laughter was pulled to a slow silence, I turned around and placed one foot in front of the other as we continued to walk. I clenched my shoulder bag with a small smile on my face to at least pretend I was fine.

I could feel his gaze on me but for an unknown reason, remained silent before adjusting his earphones and continuing until we got to my place, I thanked him and watched him leave back to his home. It was strange that I didn't see anyone at his house; no mom, no dad... no one.

I thrust my bag onto my table and ran a hand through my hair, I passed through a mirror and stopped to stare at my reflection, I was petite and as Hinamori would say 'Not very gifted in the chest area.'

I chuckled as I remembered how 'nicely' she put it for me; I shook my head as I walked upstairs with a smile on my face. I undressed and ran a shower for myself, I carefully stepped in and twisted the hot water tap then twisted the cold water further than I had the hot water. I shouldn't use a lot of hot water as I was told I could lose consciousness and possibly hit my head again with tragic results, so I've managed to use semi-warm water.

I let the water fall over my body and shut my eyes in comfort, I remained with only the sound of the water falling over me as I dug into my thoughts. I grabbed my cherry blossom scented soap and rubbed it all over my body, the smell brought so much comfort and familiarity to me. I slid my hair back to allow the water to rinse over me properly.

When I was satisfied with all, I reached for both the taps and twisted them shut, I pushed the shower curtain aside and moved to the mat beneath, unfortunately I lost my footing due to the wet floor and slipped-

I grabbed onto the sink to stop my fall, and my eyes widened as I stared at the ground. My life could have ended right there if I hadn't reached in the last minute. I gasped for breath as I tried to recover from the shock, my heart was beating erratically against my chest, I brought my hand to my chest as I led myself to my room.

I collapsed on my bed with the towel wrapped around my body, with a sigh I turned to the pants of the jeans I was wearing and reached for my phone-

My hands searched and couldn't pick it up, I propped myself up and hung the jeans upside down.

No phone.

"Where the hell could it-" I gasped before my eyes widened "-Oh no,"

Toushiro walked back into his home an d thrust the keys on the table as he led himself to bed, he ran a hand through his white hair as he sighed and threw himself on his bed. He turned his head to the stop where Saki had slept on, with a smirk he shook his head and turned back to look at the ceiling.

He then shifted to reach for his book on the bedside stool when just below the bed he found a battery lying beneath and the phone peaking just underneath the bed. Curiously Toushiro moved to pick it up and piece it together, he switched it on and found on the screen it had a picture of Saki and some man standing beside her, both smiling happily.

Toushiro placed the phone back down and it began to vibrate, he lifted it up once more and stared at the screen.

"Forty two more days left?" he repeated as he read the screen, he turned his head to look back at his reflection in confusion with his eyes furrowed, "forty two more days left of what?"

**Please review and I'll update soon! Till next chapter!**

**Chapter 6: Irritation.**

"**I said sorry already!" I walked through with Hinamori smacking me with her huge textbook.**

"**Sorry alone, doesn't cut it!"**

"**Fine then, I'm sorry!" I reiterated, only to see her fuming. Taking that as a hit I darted through the corridors leaving her behind as she waved her textbook like a mad woman. **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Irritations.

"**You've been coming well Saki, good job," the doctor took a seat beside me after checking my pulse and medical booklet. **

"**When can I see Sakuro?" **

**That's when his mood shifted and he adjusted his glasses ensuring that his eyes were hidden**** from my**** gaze****, I**** then turned to the nurse who kept her head down.**

"**Why does my head hurt so bad?"**

"**Saki, I need to explain something to you. It's about Sakuro... and yourself..."**

I tied my hair into a neat ponytail and brushed a few strands away from my face; I felt good this morning and was ready to take on the world. With a whistle I locked the door behind me and began my journey for school. The park was always the best part to visit in the morning and fortunately for me I had the opportunity to get a view of it as I walked past the area every morning. The sight of the morning sun was beautiful, this time it brought me to a stop as I shielded my eyes to catch a better glimpse of it.

"It's so pretty," I whispered to myself before smiling and removing my hand from where it was placed; I turned on my heel as I continued on my way. The roads weren't busy at this early hour... It's Monday for crying out loud.

I reached into my pocket to find it was empty, I groaned as I rolled my eyes. I'm so lost without my phone, I shoved my hands into my blazer pockets and fixed my bag, with a smile I began skipping all the way there.

I jogged to my locker and pulled it open, with a smile I tossed some books in and replaced them with other ones, I checked my timetable once more and found my gaze shifted to a few pictures that decorated the interior of my locker, one of which was Hinamori and I sitting in detention. The other, a picture of me on Sakuro's shoulders, he held the same goofy grin on his face, my hands brushed over it lovingly and I smiled once more before-

Slam!

I yanked my hand away at the right moment and turned a startled gaze to the culprit, otherwise known as Hinamori.

"You almost severed my hand!" I rose my hand to her face showing her, she held a blank expression on her face, one thing I knew about Hinamori was that when she was angry she'd never show it like normal people; she'd prefer to give you a blank face.

"An apology would be nice, thank you very much!" I waved my hand in her face before her eyes vanished within the bangs of her hair. She clutched her textbooks tightly, I could tell she was gritting her teeth.

"Uhm H-Hinamori, I-I j-just r-remembered," I gulped and slowly backed away, "I-I h-have some stuff I-I n-need t-to do, I-I'll s-see y-you- uhm-"

Before I had the chance to run; Hinamori grabbed my backpack, pulling me back. I turned back to her nervously and tried to offer a smile only to receive-

Wham!

"Ow!" I screeched as she rose her textbook once more and hit me over the head, "Hinamori, not the head please! Just not the head!"

"You end call on me, avoid me all weekend, pretend as nothing happened and have the audacity to ask me to apologise!"

Wham!

"Sorry!" I ducked another swing and tried to make a run for it when she grabbed my backpack once more and hit me over the head again.

"I said sorry already!" Hinamori smacked me once more with her huge textbook.

"Sorry alone, doesn't cut it!"

"Fine then, **I'm** sorry!" I reiterated, only to see her fuming. Taking that as a hint I darted through the corridors leaving her behind as she waved her textbook like a mad woman. My once neat ponytail was ruined as strands of hair were left hanging all over the place, I hadn't watched where I was going as I-

Crash!

"Ow," I whispered and rubbed my shoulder before staring up at the person, Keigo. I rolled my eyes at him before kicking him on the shin. "Idiot, watch where you're going!"

"No time to talk Saki, gotta run!" he chanted breathlessly before picking up his books that fell to the ground and darting off. I sighed and then noticed what he was running away from... or rather **who** he was running from, Ikkaku.

"Where's that bastard!" Ikkaku shouted through the corridors as he ran, I stopped him by placing a hand to his chest and silently sighing. Normally I would never snitch on anyone but... Keigo's the exception.

"That way," I pointed and he nodded, "Oh and by the way; when you get him, be a pal and give him a nice kick for me."

He cracked his knuckles before nodding firmly and running, "With pleasure,"

I smiled, it truly was a good morning.

My eyes travelled back to my hands and I found the pages I had once been holding were gone, my head snapped in the direction Keigo ran in.

"Shit! Kuchiki-sensei's essay is there!" I had wanted to run to find Keigo but decided against it as I knew Hinamori was there ready to give me a square hit on the face. I decided I'd just go around the other way and search for him there.

"Hey Yumichika," I greeted as I ran through the corridor.

"Morning," he replied and continued, I suppose he was following Ikkaku.

I looked left and right before deciding to go left towards the courts, I pushed the doors open and ran through the basketball court.

"Yumichika, have you seen-"

"She went that way," he answered with a mere gesture before receiving a nod from an enraged Hinamori.

Keigo darted through the corridors, whilst listening to the threats from Ikkaku; ranging from snapping his neck to snapping his neck **and** hanging him upside down from a tree. He didn't even do anything wrong, he simply commented on how his 'skin head' was blinding him due to the light reflection.

"I'll try home room then," I said to myself and sighed as I ran through and pushed the other door open.

Keigo slammed the gym doors open and ran through the basket ball courts soon after with Ikkaku hot on his heel.

I turned a corner only to find Hinamori standing in front of Hiyori-sensei's class, tapping her foot in wait, I gulped before gluing my back to the wall and running the opposite direction, my head snapped backwards to double-check if Hinamori had seen me-

Crash!

"Gosh Keigo! Why are you always bumping into me for goodness sake!"

"Aah! Saki!" he shouted and I clasped my hand over his mouth immediately, I gave him a –will-you-shut-it look and he complied before I turned my head to see a charging Ikkaku. Keigo grabbed my wrist and began running maniacally, I was left to drag behind him and unfortunately he pulled me into the direction where Hinamori stood in wait.

"Keigo, you're going the wrong way!"

"There is no other way!"

We stopped a moment and I turned my head nervously to smile at a fuming Hinamori who chased after me with Ikkaku by her side who was chasing after keigo.

"Keigo, all I need is my essay! Just let Ikkaku beat you and move on with your life."

"NO RUNNING IN THE CORRIDORS!" A loud shout was heard bringing us to a stop, we turned our heads robotically to Ishida-sensei fixing his glasses as he walked towards us. He stared us down for a moment and attempted to give us some long speech about obeying school rules but we were too preoccupied by the fact that Ikkaku and Hinamori were gaining on us to pay attention.

"Sorry sensei but we have to... GO!" I shouted and grabbed my essay from Keigo before we ran our separate ways. I was near breathless but I needed to hand this essay in to Kuchiki-sensei so I sped up a bit, hopefully I had lost Hinamori along the way here.

I slammed the door open, "Kuchiki-sensei!"

"Saki," he responded monotonously, keeping his head down to the sheets he was busy with. I gasped for breath as I placed the essay onto his table and reached for the door.

"Is this all of you essay?" he asked me, I furrowed my eyebrows and turned to him.

"Yes, it is,"

"Are you sure?" he picked the pack up to show that the front page had been torn off, I clenched my fist and gritted my teeth before walking over to him, taking the essay and silently walking out.

"KEIGO!" I shouted and stomped through the corridors towards Hiyori-sensei's class and pushed the door open.

He wasn't here.

"Hopefully Ikkaku got him already," I whispered with a scowl on my face. My eyes drifted to my seat and I decided I need a break from all this madness, so I sat a moment as I laid my head on the table.

"Here," a voice beside me said, I rose my head to see a hand with a phone in it, I looked up to Toushiro.

"Thanks," I reached for it and he placed his hands in his pockets before sitting in front of me, he placed his earphones in and rocked back and forth on his seat. I decided to continue from where I was and placed my head back on the table in relaxation.

Within less than five minutes, I felt a light tap on my shoulder and rose my head only to come into contact with Hinamori's textbook.

"Ow,"

"Now, we're even." She smiled and patted my cheek; I rolled my eyes at her before scowling.

"Fine," I mumbled and looked to Toushiro who had turned his head the moment I rose to look at him, I tilted my head and furrowed my brows in confusion before looking down to my phone. I swiped over the screen-

41 More Days Left.

**Hopefully this chapter was able to confuse you, which was the point actually, basically I wanted to emphasize the craziness going on and if you couldn't follow, just tell and I'll brief you. **

**Chapter 7: Three legged race.**

"**This is childish," Toushiro muttered and turned his head away. I gulped as I looked down to the rope connecting my right foot to his.**

"**Oh boy," I shut my eyes tightly as I held back the tears.**

**Mark this day as the most embarrassing day of your life, Saki.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Three legged race

"**So how long?"**

**The doctor sighed sadly before fixing his glasses once more, "Don't be so forlorn, there a chance you could surv-"**

"**How long?" I repeated.**

"**Three months perhaps four." He responded, I sighed before slowly lowering myself back to my bed. I shut my eyes and allowed him to take the hint and leave. Once the door was shut behind him, I slowly opened my eyes to stare at the sun setting.**

"**Three months," I whispered to myself.**

"Team what?!" Someone from the crowd shouted. I groaned internally as I too wanted to shout my complaint.

"Team building exercise, and yes you will do it or write me a fifteen page essay on why you love my lessons."

Silence.

"Good, I thought as much." He smirked as he eyed each and every one of us, his eyes set on me before outstretching a hand, "Saki, are you okay today? Will you be able to do the excerise?"

Say No! Say No! Say No!

"Yes; I'll do it, I'm fine,"

You are an idiot Saki.

"Great, now we'll have an even amount of you rascals!" he smiled before whipping out a clip board, "Everybody will be paired in alphabetical order, so once I call your name; grab a robe and come back with your partner."

I stared around the field, the sky, the grass, practically anything worth staring at. "Saki!"

"Yes sir?!" I snapped my head at sensei in surprise; he shook his head and pointed.

"Move along, you've been paired."

"What? Who? With what- I mean whom?"

Sensei rolled his eyes before looking down at his clip board once more "Hiruken Saki and Hitsugaya Toushiro," he dictated.

"Oh," I flushed in embarrassment before turning around, "TOUSHIR-Oof!" I collided into someone.

I swear if this is Keigo again I'll-

"You don't have to shout my name if I'm right here," Toushiro said before dusting himself of the invisible dirt on his shoulder.

He held the rope to me to hold before stuffing his hands in his pockets, I pouted before turning to look the opposite way, "I just had to be paired with such a stick in the mud," I mumbled to myself.

"I heard that," he replied coldly.

"You were meant to,"

I could hear a sigh before sensei's clapping drowned the sound, "Alright everyone gather around! That includes you Keigo, now since everyone has their ropes... I want you to attach one leg to the other,"

"Sorry sensei, I'm allergic to this," Renji raised his hand only to annoy Kurosaki-sensei who I could tell had a vein popping from his brow.

"Renji, just do the exercise! It won't kill you!" he shouted but then calmed down before turning to the rest of us, "As I was saying, you'll be completing a given portion of obstacles with your legs tied together. This will in turn build strength in your upper and lower body as well as test your team work and ability to cope under tight situations. Don't worry, you won't remain bound together the entire exercise, only for the first part." He motioned with his hands; we all nodded our heads in understanding and got to tying ourselves.

"Hold your leg still," I told him and bent down to tie us together, I made it as tight as I could before standing straight and smiling at my knot.

"It won't last," he looked down at it with no emotion on his face, I felt a vein grow out and clenched my fist.

"It's as tight as a knot will ever be, what do you mean it won't last?!"

He barely listened to a word I said before bending to hold one end of the rope and pulled it smoothly, the knot unravelled easily. He stood straight to look at me with the rope in his hands, he shook his head.

"Stop being such a show-off," I sulked and crossed my arms over my chest, he smirked before pulling my leg to his and lopping the rope around our legs. He made a secure knot around it and gave it one tight pull before standing straight.

"I can't feel my leg,"

"Stop being so overly dramatic," he replied before moving to the start line. He walked as though we weren't even attached.

"Excuse me, but I don't walk as fast as you,"

"Then learn to,"

I scowled beside him, "Crazy psycho,"

"I still heard that,"

"You were still meant to," I mocked him.

Sensei eyed every one of us once again and nodded his head before checking his watch, he pressed a few buttons before raising his hand, "First pair back, wins."

"Wins what?" Renji provoked sensei again, sparking a little laugher amongst us all.

"Nothing! You just do! And because someone wants to be a wise-guy, whoever comes last will have that essay I mentioned to do,"

"Jeez, bite my head off, why don't you?"

Sensei gritted his teeth before starting a countdown for us, I turned my gaze to the teams on either side of us; all at the ready to get going... I then turned to Toushiro, he barely looked interested in this.

"Ready..."

"Set..."

"Go...!"

This looks and is harder than you think, Toushiro didn't seem to be fazed by it at all as he continued on. "Do you realize, any minute now I might fall over and take you down with me?"

"I know, that's why I'm trying to move as further away from you as this rope will allow,"

"Just cause you said that, I'm gonna move closer so when I fall, I will go with you." I replied as a sulking child would, though I had expected him to keep pushing away... he didn't. And funnily enough-

It was easier to walk!

"You thought it through didn't you?"

"You're not the hardest of people to understand, dummy." We continued to trudge along, I could tell by the silence that he was giving me time to let the insult simmer in my head a moment. I turned back to him with a scowl plastered on my face.

"Did you just call me a dummy?"

"Since I'm the crazy psycho," he said as we both reached to climb the net, "Then you might as well be the dummy,"

Only then did I notice the muscle he had on his arms, as he pulled himself up it flexed, I snapped my head away and began lifting myself up. He waited a moment so we could pull ourselves together over onto the other side. My eyes widened at the next obstacle: Monkey bars.

Toushiro walked over to them nonchalantly, sensei really didn't do justice for people like me who could barely do these things since they were five. I held my ground, bringing Toushiro to a stop; he sighed before turning back to me.

"What?"

"I'm not doing those,"

"Fine, but I am," he answered and stared down at me.

"You can't, we're attached"

"That isn't going to stop me," he began walking, forcefully pulling me along with him. He grabbed one bar and reached for the other when he noticed I still wasn't moving.

"I'll need my other leg," he told me coldly, I crossed my arms over my chest defiantly. He gritted his teeth in frustration before moving towards me, he pulled me to bars. "Just keep reaching for the next one and you'll be at the end in no time," he told me icily.

He's definitely someone I wouldn't pick for moral support.

We stood in line with one another and I mirrored the way he grabbed the first bar with his right hand, then the next with his left. I shut my eyes as we pushed off, once I was sure I reached to grab the next bar, Toushiro did the same as though he had been waiting for me to go.

"Just keep reaching for the next," I whispered to myself over and over again, my arms were already feeling the burn but I continued. My hands were growing slippery and losing grip quickly, I reached for the next bar and nearly made it before my hand slid over it-

Toushiro's strong arm caught my own, "I can't hold you forever, grab it,"

I nodded my head and reached for it again, I was thankful I had kept my hand wrapped around the previous bar and that Toushiro aided me so I quickly dried my hand as I reached for the next with more stability. On the count of three, Toushiro and I jumped off and onto the sand, I was grateful when a sign gave notice that we could remove the rope and dump then aside. Toushiro moved to undo the knot and tossed the rope on the pile with the others. I stared at him for a while until he caught on, he turned his head and stared back at me with his turquoise coloured eyes.

"What?"

"Thanks, for back there,"

"Whatever," he said and walked ahead of me with his hands in his pockets, I raised my hands in anger.

"Hey, don't just blow me off with a 'whatever'! I poured my heart and soul into that thanks,"

"If you say so,"

I jogged to catch up to him as we walked over, I noticed how most of the time we walked through these things. What if we were last?! I don't need extra assignments to do, Kuchiki-sensei was already on my case today about that stupid essay Keigo just had to ruin. I grabbed Toushiro's wrist and began to run with him, he tensed at my touch and I knew his eyes must have been wide in shock.

"Sorry, but I really can't risk being last," I answered the question he was about to ask, his only response was to at least try run with me. I smiled back at him childishly; he stared at me with eyes widened at my grin.

My smile slowly ceased as for some or one other reason... I began to hear a ringing in my ears and the back of my head began to throb, I tried to shake it off.

"Oi, are you okay?"

I turned my head back and offered a smile, "'Of course I'm fine, keep up with me,"

As I said, I tried to shake it off... that was until the headache set in bringing me to a stop. I pressed my head to my forehead and could barely notice as Toushiro ran his hand in front of my face as my vision blurred.

"Oi, you should sit down," he tried to coerce me but I merely gave a faint smile.

"I told you, I'm fine," I reached forward to grab his shoulder as evidence that I was okay but I almost fell before he caught me by my arm.

"I'm next to you, not in front," he said, if only I was able to see the concerned expression he had on his face. I began to feel disorientated and the environment appeared to be spinning at an unprecedented rate.

"Maybe I should sit down," I whispered and allowed Toushiro to lead me through, I kept my head tilted downwards and shut my eyes. I could barely make out one person's voice from another when I felt another strong arm take my other side; I was led to sit down when someone held water to me.

"Here,"

I reached for the cup in the wrong direction when the person placed the bottle securely in my hand and lifted it to my lips. When I took a few sips and the mumbled voices began to clear; someone raised a hand to my face.

"How many fingers am I holding up, Saki?" I was able to make out.

"Umm, four," I answered,

"No Saki, two." the hand retreated, "We'll need to take you to the infirmary,"

"NO!" I shouted as soon as it was said, "I-I m-mean, I'm fine, I don't need to go... really sensei."

"It's not up for discussion Saki, you can barely tell where I'm standing,"

"It's just the side effects of these pills I'm taking sensei, it's completely normal. Or so my doctor says," I rushed.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded my head vigorously but winced silently when it became painful, "Fine then, just sit and take it easy. Toushiro, you're excused too."

I kept my head bowed and stared at the blurry image of my shoes, sometimes I wished I could just rub my eyes and my vision would go back to normal just like when you wake in the morning but this was always a different issue.

I felt a presence beside me; I knew it was Toushiro by the simple sigh he gave. I chose to ignore him as I continued to stare down at my feet.

"What is really going on with you?" he asked blandly, I lifted my head to him in confusion.

"What?" I asked with brows furrowed in confusion.

"I said-"

"I heard what you said, I mean what do you mean by what's going on with me?"

He turned his head to me; pausing before parting his lips, he rose one finger up, "One: You're either a sickly person." He picked another finger up with no emotion on his face, "Or two: Your determined reluctance not to go to the infirmary twice means... there's much more to what you say."

I stared at him with wide eyes before he turned away, "Take your pick,"

**Hope you like this chapter: Sorry but I won't be giving a preview for the next chapter; I don't want to spoil it.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Average.

"**Poor girl, she just lost her mother and now her brother too," one of the women whispered behind me as I stared at the picture of Sakuro before me, I lacked all emotion on my face. "It's such a shame,"**

**I smirked before sliding a finger over Sakuro's face, "It's not a shame, I'll be with them in a little while," I whispered inaudibly.**

I stared at him with wide eyes before he turned away, "Take your pick,"

My heart was practically at my throat and beating erratically, I turned my head away in an attempt to calm myself, "I'm just a sickly person, I guess,"

"You're lying," he replied briefly and precisely.

"What do you mean 'I-" my response was short lived as suddenly I felt light headed and felt my eyes grow weak, the more I fought to stay balanced... the harder it became until I collided with the ground. I heard several footsteps come to my side but by then I was already out like a light.

"**SAKI!"**

**Bang!**

**Screech!**

**Silence.**

My eyes flickered open as I relived, in my dreams the day Sakuro saved me in exchange for his life. I remained stationary as it would take too much will power to move; I knew I was in the infirmary because of the designs on the ceiling. My eyes shifted to the clock on the wall, I had been asleep for most of the day and school was over for the day just thirty minutes ago. My gaze then turned to the window, I blinked slowly before the curtain was pulled to reveal: Unohana-sensei, she was the nurse here.

She smiled warmly at me before placing a hand to my forehead, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine,"

"That's good,"

"Can I go home now?"

She frowned lightly, "I can't let you go by yourself, isn't there someone I can call to come and get you?"

"Well-"

"I'll go with her," an imposing voice entered in the conversation, I slowly sat up to see Toushiro was leaning against the wall beside the door with his arms crossed and earphones in.

"I don't think I'll need-"

"That would be best," Unohana-sensei smiled at him before laying a hand on my shoulder, she aided me in standing up. I thanked her before Toushiro pulled my bag from my shoulders and carried it on his, the corridors were silent as expected and the only sound was that of our footsteps. I brushed a strand of my hair from my face as we walked down the stairs and out the school gates.

I kept my head down as we walked; the setting sun casted a reddish orange shine as we walked past the park. For some reason Toushiro came to a stop as he stared at the horizon, we had been silent the past few minutes and so I curiously wondered what was on his mind. I tilted my head lightly and slowly walked back to him; he slowly shut his eyes as the wind blew through his hair.

I stared at him for a while then glanced at the horizon and then back at him, "Whenever you're ready, you know," I said to him sarcastically and watched as he opened his turquoise eyes.

"You're annoying,"

"Thanks, it's a skill," I smirked before he walked ahead of me, "Wait up!"

"Keep up instead," he replied monotonously; I stuck my tongue out before jogging over to him, unfortunately I didn't watch where I was going and tripped over a rock, I grabbed onto Toushiro's shirt in attempt to stop my fall but ended up bringing him down with me.

"Argh," he grunted, I nervously smiled at him as he turned his head to me with an unreadable expression.

"S-Sorry," I stuttered with a smile.

He shook his head angrily before picking himself up and dusting his pants, he turned around to me after cleaning off his shirt too, "Don't you watch where you're-"

Toushiro casted his eyes to my knees to see they were red and that skin had been scraped off a bit though there was no blood, "-You're injured,"

I grinned at him childishly before walking in front of him, I took backwards steps as I faced Toushiro with a smile on my face, I'd occasionally notice how he'd glance at the scrape from time to time then turn away, "It doesn't hurt that much you know,"

"Whatever," he turned his head away.

"Thanks for being concerned," I whispered and smiled warmly at him only to receive a light sigh as response. My phone vibrated in my blazer pocket and I reached for it, noticed it was Hinamori's number and prepared myself for an earful.

"Hell-"

"-SAKI, I WAS WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU! YOU JUST COLLAPSED ON US! DIDN'T YOU SAY THE DOC SAID YOU WERE GETTING BETTER?!" My eyes widened and I quickly placed a hand over the speaker in an attempt to mute her out, I turned my head to a confused Toushiro and smiled nervously.

"Hina, let's talk about this later, shall we?" I dictated and hung up, I know it's rude but she was spilling out too much already. I placed my phone back in my pocket and continued walking without a word.

"'Didn't the doc say you were getting better?' huh?" Toushiro quoted Hinamori bringing me to a stop, "Getting better from what?" he pried.

I coughed into my hand unconvincingly, "I had- I mean I have flu so I-"

Toushiro quirked an eyebrow at me in disbelieve, I frowned before turning my back on him and continued walking, "-I don't have to explain anything to you," I continued like a sulking child. I slowly cringed as I stopped to place a hand to the side of my head, I traced over the scar and winced as I remembered the crack I heard the day my head slammed against-

"Oi, are you okay?"

I ripped my hand from my paining head and turned back to smile at him, "You're asking that question too much already, I'm fine,"

When we finally arrived at my place, I grabbed the shoulder bag from him and bowed, "Thank you," as soon as I lifted my head to him, I could see a disbelieving look in his eyes but none the less he simply gave a small nod before moving back to his home. I shut the door behind me as I walked in and leaned against the door, sliding down to the bottom I held my head in my hands and bit down on my lip in pain.

The headache had begun as soon as I had left the infirmary but I tried hard not to show it, in fact I pulled it off. I don't want people to worry but it seems the less I want people worry, the more they do.

I sat where I was before standing dizzily and walking to bathroom to get the medicine chest, I opened it and took three tablets out. I grabbed a cup, filling it with water, I tossed my head back as I swallowed the tablets. I know I should've eaten something before taking them but who cares whether I take them or not... the end result will still be the same. The only reason I do take them is for the mere fact that I don't want to be seem as though I never tried and waited for the inevitable.

I traced over my facial features on the mirror with a small smile before walking away and crashing on my bed, I felt my phone vibrate.

"If this is Hinamori again, I swear I'll-" I spoke to myself as I reached into my pocket to find it was merely a reminder:

**DOCTORS APPOINTMENT TOMORROW.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Same old.

"**Hey Saki," Hinamori entered my room solemnly, she slowly shut the door behind her as she walked over to my bed. I stared at my reflection through the mirror which wasn't a great distance from the bed I sat on. Her eyes bloodshot but she wore a smile on her face, a warm smile.**

"**How are you doing?" she whispered as she sat down beside me with a warm hand on my shoulder.**

**No response.**

"**Oh Saki," she whispered and pulled me into a tight embrace, her tears ran down my face as I continued to stare at my refection over her shoulder. "I'm so sorry,"**

"Hi, I'm here to see doctor Ishida," I smiled politely at the secretary who smiled back just as warmly.

"It's nice to see you again, Saki. You're looking better than you did last time," she commented before placing a hand on my shoulder, I nodded my head before she pulled her hand away and searched through her diary. "Aren't you the lucky one on time, go through, you know your way," she smiled once more before I bowed in thanks and headed through.

'You know your way'

I pondered on the way she had said it, it was strange that I had only ever been here four times now and she made it seem as though I'd been coming here for ages. It's a hospital for Pete's sake!

Who enjoys coming to a hospital?!

I slid one hand on the white wall as I took more steps towards Dr. Ishida's office, walking in was always the easiest thing; walking out... left the most gut wrenching feeling in my stomach.

Knock.

Knock.

"Dr. Ishida, can I come in?" I asked, I hadn't waited for a response when I slowly pulled the door open and peeked in. He was busy packing a file into the cupboard before his gaze sat on me, he fixed his glasses, a habit I had noticed.

"Hi," I smiled awkwardly and lifted a waving hand; he sighed before motioning for me to take the seat in front of him. His walls had a cream colour and room was very spacious, he had shelves of medicine books around and a small bed situated at the corner.

He pulled out a file, walking back he sat in front of me once more. He sighed deeply before fixing his glasses and staring back at me once more, I managed a small smile at him but he shook his head lightly.

"You don't have to always have such a hard look every time I come, you know," I said to him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Never better,"

No response.

I sighed and looked to my feet, "It's getting worse, the pain, the nausea... everything,"

"The medicines I prescribed you-"

"-Don't help with anything," I whispered, cutting him off. He held no response on his face, so I simply stood and walked over to the bed; I sat on it and pulled off my jacket. "The usual tests right?"

He nodded and proceeded to walk to me, using his stethoscope to listen to the sounds that came from my heart and lungs, as he did this, I'd occasionally see a frown creep on his face and he'd tilt his head to listen properly. As soon as he was done he wrapped the sphygmomanometer around my arm to check my blood pressure.

"Your blood pressure is a little high; do you tend to have dizzy spells from time to time?" he asked as he kept his gaze on the screen.

I nodded my head lightly, "Daily,"

He grabbed a tongue depressor from a container full of them, "Open your mouth," he instructed and pressed the stick on my tongue as he stared. Once he was done he threw the stick away, he then moved to pick up a file and whipped out a pen to take a few notes, he removed the strap from my arm and grabbed a surgical glove from his cupboard.

"Lay on your stomach," he told me and I complied. He pushed aside some of my hair as he searched for the area with the scar, he lightly touched over it causing me to wince slightly.

"Hm," he simply said before removing the glove, "You can sit up now,"

"Is that all? Can I go home now?" I asked as I rose, he was at his seat once more, he shook his head in response before motioning to the seat in front of him, he had his head down as he wrote some things on the sheet.

I rolled my eyes before moving to the chair, "What?"

"You haven't made any improvement Saki,"

"I know," I sighed as I looked down at my feet; I twiddled my thumbs for an unknown reason before looking back at him. "There's nothing I can do about it, that's why I come to you,"

"Perhaps when next you come, I'll hope there might be even a slight change for the better," he said to me before shutting my file, I stood from my seat and walked to the door.

"If there's a next time," I responded before walking out and shutting the door behind me, I hated the hospital smell you got every time you'd walk in, it's so depressing as is. As I walked through the corridors I felt a tear slid from my eye, with a startled expression I raised my finger to brush it off.

Like I said: Walking in was always the easiest thing; walking out... left the most gut wrenching feeling in my stomach.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Phone call.

**All I hear these days are people's useless condolences, they're all just pretenders, they act as thought they understand what I'm going through... they don't.**

"**Hey Saki, I'm sorry about what happened,"**

"**Saki, I'm so sorry,"**

"**Saki, my deepest condolences,"**

**Saki! Saki! Saki! **

**That's all I ever hear!**

"**Saki, do you need to step out a moment?" Nanao-sensei asked and the entire class turned to face me. The class had been unusually silent for most of the lesson but it was expected since everyone knows what happened and it's sort of out of 'respect' that they at least pretend to be solemn.**

"**Why?" I asked confusedly.**

"**You're crying,"**

After getting home from the hospital, I collapsed on the couch and took a chip from the bowl on the table top; I had skipped class today since I know I'd have been a bore.

"What am I going to do all day?" I asked myself as I turned on the TV; I flipped from channel to channel plainly. Nothing even remotely interesting was showing, only kids programs and a few news broadcasts. I turned the TV off and rested my head so I was able to look up at the ceiling, I remained in that position for a while as I allowed my thoughts to roam.

What would you do if you had two months to live?

Go to school? No.

Pretend like everything's normal? Hell no.

Wallow in guilt because you're the reason for someone else's death?

It's so strange but a part of me feels like I deserve what's happening to me, if I hadn't been so selfish and stupid and hadn't walked out the door that night... maybe, just maybe Sakuro would still be alive.

Or maybe, if I was never born then things would never have turned out the way they did.

That's also part of the reason I've chosen to stick this through to the end; I deserve the pain I'm going through... it's my punishment.

My eyes slowly opened and shut and I immediately thrashed my head to the side as a sharp pain surged through me, it lasted about a minute before it slowly ceased and I finally got rest from cringing and gritting my teeth.

A deafening silence loomed over the entire house, it was so unbearable that I bolted from my seat and grabbed my bag once more; I walked to the door and out into the street. It was still 11:23 am and I still had sometime so I figured I'd spend it at the cemetery.

Quite the most cheerful place to be right?

I had bought some white roses and held them in my hands as I continued my walk down to the cemetery, I pushed the small gate open and shut it behind me. The sky was a beautiful blue, without clouds and the grass around the tombs looked green and lively. I took a deep breath as I stopped at a specific tombstone.

Sakuro Hiruken.

I bent down to remove the old flowers and replace them with the new ones I had bought, my fingers traced over the top of the tombstone when I was done with a smile on my face.

"Long time, no see," I said as my eyes softened, "I'm sorry,"

I allowed myself to sit on the grass in front of the tombstone as I spoke about anything and everything; whether he could hear me or not didn't really matter, what really matter was that I could at least be here and that I'd never forget to be with my big bro from time to time.

I laughed at some of the memories I voiced out and hand gestures I made as I told the story, "-Worst of all Hinamori and I-"

"**SAKI!"**

I immediately shut my eyes in pain as I remembered the last thing he shouted before impact, it was as though every time I came here; staring at the tombstone would be a constant reminder of how I screwed up.

"Big bro, I'm so, so sorry," I whispered and felt a tear run down my cheek. I exhaled deeply and tried to smile as I rubbed the tear away.

My eyes widened as I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, I slowly turned my head up to see Hinamori with glossy eyes.

"Couldn't spend an entire day without my best friend, you know," she smiled before sitting down beside me, she rested her head against mine and we stared at Sakuro's tombstone. "You miss him, don't you?"

"Everyday Hina," I whispered back and shut my eyes.

"Don't swallow yourself up in guilt forever," she lightly punched my thigh, "You still have your whole life ahead of you,"

"My whole life ahead of me huh?"

If only you knew Hina...

"Of course!" she smiled brightly whilst I could only manage a small smile, she deserves to know the truth so she'll at least expect it when it happens but...

"So what excuse will we use this time?" she said to me jokingly before we burst out laughing as she impersonated Ishida-sensei moaning at us about bunking school.

I rubbed my stomach as the muscles pained due to laughing so hard and so much, I stared at Hinamori laughing and my eyes softened.

...I guess I'm too much of a coward to tell her.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Kill me now.

I clicked my pen repeatedly as I bit my lip, we were given a ton of homework today and more importantly I needed to catch up the stuff I missed yesterday so I decided to stay in the library and do some work quietly. I had textbooks scattered around the table I sat at and I'd occasionally lose my pen or calculator within this mess.

"Aah! I can't do this anymore, my brain is fried!" I moaned to myself as I lay my head on a textbook.

"I'd like to take these two books out," I heard a familiar male voice and slowly peeked from my book to see Toushiro at the counter with two thick books in his hands. I stared at the book then back at him... I need the help anyway.

"Hey Toushiro!" I shouted.

"SSHHH!" Someone replied, I clasped my hand over my mouth and waved him over. Toushiro stared at me a moment before shaking his head and slowly stalking over to me.

"What?"

"I need your help quickly," I told him before spinning my book to him; "I can't balance that equation, can you help me out a bit?"

He stared at it a moment before taking the pencil I had out of my hand and crossing out everything I had on the page.

"Hey!"

"It's all wrong, you confused Ammonium with Ammonia," he responded before dropping the books he had on the table and taking a seat in front of me, he turned a fresh page and began scribbling on it. I noticed he'd close his eyes when he'd think then write down quickly, I could barely see he was doing so I stood to walk around the table to peek over his shoulder.

"I have no clue what you've done here," I groaned and he sighed lightly before pushing the book at an angle which I could see properly at, I pulled out the chair beside him and stared at the book.

Toushiro sighed deeply before he began explaining everything to me, he'd slow down at things that needed better explanation and wait until I got it before moving on. I stared at him intently, nodding when I understood and shaking my head when I didn't. I'd occasionally challenge him with the things he said, only that he'd always prove why he was right and I was wrong.

My fingers brushed over his as I reached for my textbook, "I'm pretty sure I'm right, non-metals lose electrons and metals gain,"

Toushiro picked my hand and lifted it to the top of the page on the textbook, "You're wrong... again," he replied with a bored expression, I read over the block and realising my defeat I shrugged into my seat.

"Fine,"

Toushiro flicked his phone open before standing from his chair, "The library's about to close, let's get going,"

"Oh right! I didn't even notice, you can go ahead, it will take me a while to pack away all this stuff," I told him as I moved around the table to pack my textbooks away.

"Here," he handed me another book to place in my bag, for a moment I stared at him but smiled as I reached for it.

"Thanks, for the book... and the lesson Hitsugaya-sensei," I teased only to receive an eye roll

After packing everything away, I hauled my bag onto my back and walked beside him. "This has to be almost the third time we've walked home together,"

He shoved his hands in his pockets as he took another step completely ignoring me; I rolled my eyes before smiling softly at him as I followed. I stared at the kid's playground and pictured Sakuro picking me up and placing me back at the top of the slide, he'd always jog down to the bottom and smile up at me as he waited for me to slide down.

"**Jeez, why don't you take your own sweet time Saki!" he joked.**

"**Shuddup, I'll come down in a sec," I stuck my tongue out at him before sliding down and into Sakuro's arms. "Jeez, someone's getting heavier!"**

**I smacked him on the head with a whine but he smiled back lovingly, "Just kidding!"**

A smile crossed my face at the memory and I looked down to my feet, Sakuro was always such an amazing brother, pity I never realised this sooner.

"Move," Toushiro ordered plainly.

"Huh? Wha-"

He sighed before he grabbed my arm; abruptly pulling me to himself. I caught my breath in my throat as the distance between us narrowed in my attempt to regain balance, I swallowed hard and my eyes widened.

"Sorry!" a kid on a skate board shouted with a wave before he continued skating away.

"T-Thanks," I whispered with my head to his chest, his hold on my wrist released, I slowly pulled away from him and stared at the ground.

These are the moments that I'd slap my forehead and call myself an idiot... repeatedly.

"Hey, I-" I raised my head to look at him but turned my gaze back to the ground to hide the sudden redness on my face, "Never mind,"

He then decided he'd completely block me out by taking out his phone and placing his earphones in to listen to music.

I sighed deeply before moaning given the premise that he couldn't hear me, "Saki, you're such an idiot it's unbelievable! Why couldn't he just have pushed me not bring me closer to himself, now walking beside him is even more awkward, I can't even take another look at him without blushing and-"

Toushiro coughed a bit drawing my attention, "I can hear you, you know,"

My eyes widened and heart stopped a moment.

Kill me now!

"Um Toushiro uh- I kinda realised I uh- need to,"

"By all means," he responded and I ran ahead of him, I shut my eyes tightly as I relived that moment over and over in my head. Each time it played I found it more and more embarrassing.

As soon as I got home, I slammed the door shut and I slapped myself repeatedly as I muttered about how stupid I was.

I whipped out my phone and dialled in a number, I really needed to confide in someone right now.

"Hellllooo!"

"Hina?"

"Yeah, something up Saki?" Hinamori asked with concern.

"You'll need to shoot me after this,"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Hiding.

"And then what happened?" Hinamori questioned excitedly, I slapped my forehead and stared at the ground with embarrassment dawned on my face.

"Hinamori I told you what happened about a million times by now, it gets even more embarrassing each time I say it,"

Hina fixed the bag on her back before giggling; she had her hair neatly tied up in her usual bun showing her face. I shoved my hands into my blazer pocket before sighing deeply, blowing a few strands in front of my face away.

"Come on! Just tell me one more time!"

I turned my head to her with wide eyes, "Do you enjoy hearing about how I embarrass myself?"

Her only response as to burst out laughing which brought a small smile to my face, "It's not funny!" I muttered whilst trying to hold a serious face. Hina jogged ahead of me as we reached school, she waved insistently at Sosuke Aizen before blushing insanely and turning back to me with a wink.

I rolled my eyes at her, moving to the lockers and placing my pin in. I checked my schedule for the day and packed my books according to it, with one more sigh I zipped my bag shut, my eyes travelled to the small container with the medicine Dr. Ishida prescribed. I picked it from its position, gently shaking the container and remaining deep in thought.

I feel fine today, I'm pretty sure I can miss one day.

I bit down on my lip but then smiled and shook my head, placing it back down in its original position.

"I feel fine anyway,"

As soon as I had turned my head I immediately regretted not appearing to be busy as my eyes came to rest on Toushiro who was walking through the corridor with his damn earphones in. His hands in the confines of his pants whilst he walked with a shoulder bag draped over his left shoulder.

I took a deep breath and braced myself; he walked over in my direction stopping merely a centimetre from me though he stood beside. He took one look at me before chuckling lightly and continuing on his way.

I'm glad he finds it hilarious.

I was torn between shouting and wallowing in how embarrassed I am but before I could make a decision Hinamori popped up, grinning like a mad fool.

"What?" I groaned but she merely trudged along as though she were floating on air. I quirked an eyebrow at her, "What's up?"

She appeared as though her head was in the clouds and simply drew a heart in the air in response to my question, "So Sosuke wants another date?"

She nodded her head in response.

I shook my head before sighing; I opened my bag and grabbed my soft cover textbook, I rolled it up and aimed carefully...

Smack!

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For being an obsessed fan girl," I answered then proceeded to pack the book away and smile in victory.

"Oh no, I don't even know what I'm going to wear! You have to help me!" she moaned and grabbed my shoulders, I stared at her confusedly before prying her fingers away from me.

"Just look casual, or rather... don't overdo it,"

Hina rolled her eyes at me, "You're right... but it's not like I can wear jeans, that would be under dressing and I can't wear a dress cause that would be overdressing."

"Don't worry, I'll come to your place later and we can argue and debate about what you'll wear," I smiled before throwing an arm over her shoulder, cheering her up slightly.

.

.

"Saki Hiruken?" Hiyori-sensei called out, she waited a moment before placing the class list down and looking up to the class. She inhaled deeply with a frown on her face.

"SAKI HIRUKEN!?"

I snapped my head in Hiyori-sensei's direction, my heart beating rapidly in fright, "Yes sensei?"

"Are you present or not?"

No, you're just imagining the outline of me here, "Here sensei," I answered shyly before placing my head down on the table.

"Toushiro Hitsugaya?"

Toushiro muttered a simple 'here' before turning his head away; Hinamori poked me gently with her pen and tossed a paper towards me. I frowned before unravelling it to find a huge heart with three words in the centre: Saki loves Toushiro.

"Real mature Hina," I said before I crushed the paper and turned to a laughing Hinamori, I picked my stationery case and almost threw it at her when Hiyori-sensei caught sight.

"Anything interesting you'd like to share with the class Saki?"

The entire class turned in our direction with exception to Toushiro, why is it always me?!

"No sensei," I answered quickly before the paper fell to the ground.

"Passing letters around I see," she answered before stepping down and marching over to me.

I gulped and my eyes widened, she couldn't read it out!

I quickly swiped the paper from the ground and stuffed it into my mouth, everybody gave me a disgusted look but I merely smiled and pointed to my mouth. "Tastes amazing,"

I received a few whispers before Hiyori-sensei shrugged and moved back to the board, I groaned and banged my forehead on the table lightly.

It's always me.

Hinamori placed a hand over her mouth as she giggled frantically, I turned my head to her and mouth: 'I'll kill you'.

I raised my hand to go to the bathroom and spat the piece of paper out, I rinsed my mouth before eating a mint and walking back to class. This time Hinamori had a pale face and stared intently at me, I raised my shoulders to question her sudden change since I got back and she pointed a finger at Toushiro.

'What' I mouthed, now the problem with mouthing something to Hinamori is that she can't properly mouth something back. Though she kept pointing to Toushiro and motioning that I'd kill her, I stared at her for a while confusedly but then resorted to ignoring her.

As soon as the bell rang, I picked my bag up and noted how quickly Hinamori dashed out the door as though she were guilty of something. I was last to leave the classroom and as I walked out the door-

"Saki loves Toushiro huh?"

I turned my head to see the white haired figure of Toushiro leaning against the wall beside the door, apparently having waited for me to leave.

I also noticed he had a very familiar sheet of paper held in his hand.

He smirked before turning it over for me to see, my eyes widened and bag dropped to the ground.

"Wait- look- It's not what you thin-"

"What should I think?" he asked with a smirk on his face, I'm so going to kill Hinamori after this.

"Well- it was all- uh- Hinamori's-"

He sighed with a smirk still planted on his face before thrusting the paper in my direction and stalking off for his next lesson, "Next time, try to eat the right paper,"

Why is it always me?!

**Hope that was a fun chapter before I get deep into the story next one! Till next chapter!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Pain of memories.

It was probably midnight, I hadn't bothered to check the time since it was so dark and the light from my phone would burn my eyes.

The sound of the rain beating violently against the roof would have been a lullaby to some but to me it was like a reminder of that fateful evening, a lightning strike illuminated the room for a moment casting a shadow over the room.

I turned over to stare out the window and watch as the rain poured.

"Just one month and a week left Sakuro, mom," I whispered before feeling slight dizziness, I shut my eyes allowing it to pass through.

I waited a few more minutes and felt better, stood from my bed and walked out the door, I dragged my body through to Sakuro's room. I'm not sure why I finally found the need to but I did and gently opened the door to reveal a perfectly made bed, a dusty mirror and more importantly... no Sakuro.

On his desk were two framed and dusty pictures, I tiredly stalked over to them and picked one up. I blew at it and deciding that wasn't enough, I wiped it a bit to reveal the same picture I had: I was sitting on Sakuro's shoulders with a broad smile on my face whilst he grinned goofily as usual.

I smiled at the picture then placed it down, I picked the other up and repeated the previous process I made on the other one to reveal a family picture we once took at the beach, I was probably five or six at the time and Sakuro was around twelve or thirteen. I wasn't very co-operative with this at the time as the picture was taken with me about to bite Sakuro.

I chuckled lightly at the memory and placed the picture down, scanning through the empty room further before I walked over to the bed and slowly setted myself on the side he'd always sleep on, I shut my eyes as I rested my head. My fingers slid under the pillow and I heard the cracking sound of paper, I sat up and pushed the pillow away to reveal an open envelope underneath.

I frowned before picking it up and pulled a sheet of paper out of the envelope. It was addressed to Sakuro:

**May 23****rd**

**Dearest Sakuro**

**I pray you and your sister are well, I haven't heard from either of you in a while, I'm starting to worry. **

**Hopefully Saki isn't still a handful; do send me a picture of the both of you there.**

**I'm feeling better as the days pass; though I hate to have to write this Sakuro but... I'm going to die soon.**

**Please don't burden Saki with this, I don't want her to blame herself or put her life on hold... I don't want either of you to. I want the both of you to stick together; you're family so please never turn your backs on each other even when I'm gone.**

**I trust I will be able to rest knowing my children will be fine when I'm gone and that you'll make sure your sister doesn't get out of line and that you will become strong for each other.**

**I'd have liked to be able to see the both of you through life but I'm afraid it's not so, therefore I will leave you with words that every mother is the first to utter to their child:**

**I love you.**

**Sincerely**

**Your mother.**

I reread the letter over and over again as I processed each word, all this time...

All this time...

All this time Sakuro had known mom was going to die and never mentioned a word to me, he pretended like all was fine.

"**In pain? You think I'm in pain?" I lifted my head and turned to him with a sarcastic look on my face, "I'm not in pain Sakuro, I'm dying right here!" I pointed to my heart and stood up, Sakuro took my hand and pressed it to his heart.**

**He shut his eyes before smiling lightly, "You're not the only one Saki,"**

He must have been in agony the entire time and all I could do was make it seem as though I was the only one hurting.

My head began throbbing and I placed a hand to my now aching forehead, I coughed and felt a warm liquid slowly run down my nose, I tilted my head back to stop the bleeding but the metallic taste filled my entire mouth, I slowly stood from the bed and ran to the bathroom where I rinsed my mouth.

It was as I finished rinsing my mouth that I felt a little faint or lightheaded. My reflection in the mirror kept shifting that I was close to seeing three reflections of myself.

My face appeared beet red and hands shaking noticeably, I stared at this for a moment before I walked back to the door, my vision was even worse and dizziness unbearable. I reached for the handle and opened the door to step out-

- everything turned to darkness-


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Worry.

"Come on, Saki pick up," Hinamori whispered as she pressed her phone to her ear and tapped her foot impatiently.

"Hey Saki here, can't take your call right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!"

Voicemail.

Hinamori pressed end call before sighing worriedly; she slammed her locker shut before trying her number again.

Ring

Ring.

"Hey Saki here, can't take your call right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!"

Beep.

"Why aren't you answering your phone! Pick it up already, this has to be the hundredth time already! Come on Saki, it isn't funny! Call me back as soon as you get this!"

Hinamori sighed as she lifted herself from her position and placed her phone back in her pocket to walk to class.

Unknown to her; Toushiro was leaning against the wall beside the lockers, he watched as the brown haired girl walked away with a worried look imprinted on her face. He picked his phone and scanned through his contact list.

Ring.

Ring.

"Hey Saki here, can't take your call right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!"

Toushiro snapped his phone shut and lifted himself from the wall, he grabbed his bag and began walking opposite the direction everyone was moving.

He received awkward stares from passersby, who probably thought he was bunking classes. Toushiro either ignored them or gave them an icy stare in return. He walked down the street with his hands in his pockets but then stopped in his tracks.

"What if she's just bunking? Why should I bother?" he asked himself staring down the street as he remembered his first day at school, when Saki sank to the bottom of the pool as though she'd lost all ability to lose her limbs, and when she collapsed during Kurosaki-sensei's-

Toushiro's eyes widened and he began sprinting down the road towards Saki's house as though his life depended on it. He banged on the door as soon as he got there, despite the fact that he was breathless and exhausted, he banged violently.

No response.

He twisted the door and to his surprise it opened.

Odd.

"Oi- Saki," he called out breathlessly as he walked through, examining the house.

He walked up the stairs, calling out Saki only to receive no response. He then turned a corner and his eyes widened with a choked gasp-

-Saki laying on the ground, collapsed just outside the bathroom with her eyes shut, her hair flowing behind her with a few strands glued to her face.

She wasn't breathing.

.

.

.

My eyes flickered open to reveal a blurry white ceiling; I blinked three times before I was able to clear my vision. I groaned then slowly lifted myself up into sitting position, I pulled left hand to my forehead and tried to pull my right but found it was under pressure. I opened my eyes tiredly to find that Toushiro was seated on a chair beside my bed with his head rested on it and his hand securely over my hand. He had his head face down with his white hair completely hiding his face.

My eyes widened and I snapped my head to survey the room I was in, last I remember was reading moms letter and then the bathroom and then... nothing...

I furrowed my brows in confusion then turned back to Toushiro.

How'd I get in hospital?

I tried to pull my hand away from his but he only tightened his grip, I stared at this a moment before I reached to gently shake him.

My hand was close to his shoulder when he exhaled deeply and turned his head in my direction, his turquoise eyes fluttered open before he slowly sat upright with a groan. I turned my head to stare straight, well now what do I say?

"Are you crazy?" he asked me monotonously.

I turned my head to him with a smile, "Well good afternoon to you too, hope you're feeling good 'cause I'm all fine and dandy."

He then looked down to my hand hidden underneath his and slowly pulled it away, he turned to pour a cup of water then handed it to me. "Drink, you must be thirsty,"

I slowly took the cup in one hand and held it shakily that some water spilled out, Toushiro pulled the cup out of my hand with a light frown and moved it to my lips. I drank slowly before raising my hand that I was done.

"Jeez, why don't you drown me already," I mocked him and wiped my lips with the back of my hand. "How'd I get here?"

No reply.

I frowned for a moment but then slowly the frown turned to a stunned expression on my face, "You brought me here?"

Toushiro stared at me a moment before smirking and turning his head away, my eyes softened on him and I moved to him, pulling him in a loose hug. He tensed and remained as still as rock, my arms were wrapped loosely around his neck and head placed over his shoulder.

"Thank you," I whispered.

He remained silent for a moment before he sighed, "Why is it either 'thank you' or 'I'm sorry' that I ever hear from you?"

Toushiro sighed inaudibly and shut his eyes; I smiled over his shoulder before closing my eyes and resting my head more comfortably.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Contact.

I tiredly grabbed another textbook out of my locker and shoved it into my bag; I repeated the same process with a yawn. I felt terrible but couldn't afford to miss another day.

I placed a few more books into my bag before I double checked and slammed my locker door shut, I turned my head to the right and noticed Toushiro leaning against someone's locker listening to music with his eyes shut.

"Why do you have your ear phones plugged in when you aren't even listening to anything?" I questioned tiredly.

"The plan was to block out people like you," he answered plainly. He had his foot pressed up against the wall and hands shoved into his pockets, I smirked and reached into my bag, pulling out a book and lightly pressing it to his chest.

"Here, I found it in my bag. I probably didn't check whether the book was mine or yours back at the library," He simply pulled one hand out of his pocket and took the book, I smiled softly at him and fixed my bag before walking ahead of him. "Oh and... enjoy reading on glaciers,"

I shook my head with a smile before jogging to Kuchiki-sensei's class. I knocked on the door lightly with a sigh.

Time for round two.

I opened the door and once again sensei was busy marking papers, he lifted his head to me with an emotionless expression then turned back down to the papers in front of him. "This time Saki, I hope you've brought a complete essay." He placed much needed emphasis on the word 'complete'; I gulped nervously before searching through my bag for the essay.

"Right here sensei, all done and fully intact this time," I held the paper out to him with a light smile on my face, he took it in his hands and slowly surveyed each page. I waited anxiously until he lifted his head to me.

"You've actually done something right, Saki," he responded putting me at ease, I gently rubbed the back of my head and smiled.

"T-Thanks, I think, bye sensei," I waved before darting out of his class, he had such a piercing glare that it's no wonder as soon as you entered the class all form of happiness would drain out of you.

...

Hinamori had been on my case most of the morning s to why I was absent the past two days and hadn't been picking up my phone.

"I just wasn't feeling well, that's all," I told her and placed another book in my locker.

"You totally, sure?" she asked with a frown, I nodded my head briskly and she smiled before patting my shoulder. "Cool, hey I have to run and print some stuff right now, see you after break,"

"Yep,"

Hinamori nodded before running to the computer centre, I zipped my bag shut and locked my locker before walking down the empty corridor, stopping by a few stairs and deciding I might as well have lunch there. I sat on the fifth stair with my feet over the third; I took a bite out of my sandwich and sighed as I chewed.

How am I managing through this day?

My ears perked as I heard shuffling, I frowned a bit before leaning backwards to see where the noise was coming from. I tilted my head as I observed Toushiro leaning against the wall, a book at hand or rather a diary. He appeared to be scribbling on it, completely oblivious to my presence.

So this is where he always is at lunch.

I swallowed and took a sip from my juice; I brought my finger to my lip and sighed.

Should I say hi or pretend I was never here?

If I say hi, he'll probably just ignore me but if I pretend I wasn't here and he sees me then he'll think I'm some sort of stalker.

I leaned back slowly this time and analyzed his facial expression, I sighed deeply "He looks so fixated on what he's doing, he wouldn't be very impressed if I disturbed him now," I whispered to myself.

With a nod I decided I'd just pretend I wasn't here and go on with school...

"Jeez, I wonder what he's writing down."

It's none of my business.

"But still, I want to know, oh what the hell! I might as well see now," I shrugged before standing up and-

Ring!

"Damnit!" I clenched my fist, breaks over.

My gaze then turned to Toushiro, I moved down a step or two to avoid his gaze as he opened his bag and placed the book back in his bag then took the upper stair case, with each step he took I noticed the zip of his bag open more and more until the notebook he had, slipped out and fell to the ground.

I moved to pick it up: Toushiro Hitsugaya.

"That's so like him, so plain not even a sticker or something to decorate it," I smirked before looking up to his disappearing figure.

I should give it to him.

"Toushi-" I bit my lip when my gaze turned back to the diary at hand, I know I shouldn't but... but he looked so fixated on this. "Fine, just one flap through,"

I turned the first page as I tried to scan through, "Saki!"

I jolted in fright and shut the book as I turned around immediately with a guilty smile on my face, "What?"

"I w-was j-just about t-to say- we should-" Hinamori began as she stared at me a moment before placing a hand to her hip, "What did you do?"

"M-ME! I d-didn't do anything!" I defended myself and slowly worked my way to grab my bag and empty juice box to throw in the trash, I slipped the diary into my bag then turned to Hinamori who had a sceptical look on her face.

"What?" I questioned.

"I know what you did Saki," she crossed her arms over her chest and my eyes widened.

"Okay, but he just stood there writing in it and as he walked away he dropped it and I tried calling for him several times but he couldn't hear me so there was nothing I could do," I gasped for breath as I spoke way too quickly.

"Woah, let's take this one word at a time, start again," she said to me with wide eyes, I smirked realising she barely heard a single word I said.

"I said... how's Sosuke?"

She immediately turned beet red and held the textbooks at her chest closer to herself, I rolled my eyes at her as she continued to go on and on about how wonderful her date went.

...

Toushiro kept digging in his bag incessantly, in search of something with a deep frown on his face when he couldn't find it.

I bit onto my pen; I really should give it to him but...

Toushiro sat back properly in his chair with a clenched fist around his pen, after a moment he raised his hand.

"Yes, Toushiro," Ukitake-sensei answered without even turning round.

"I dropped something outside, can I go fetch it?"

"Quickly," sensei answered.

I scratched the back of my head as he stood from his seat, I gulped guiltily but nonetheless I let him go on a search for his diary.

...

I walked home alone today; my gaze would occasionally turn down to my bag that held the diary in it.

"I promise, I'll give it to him tomorrow," I whispered to myself as I unlocked the door and shut it behind me. I grabbed an apple form the fridge and bit into it before marching up to my room and placing my bag down. I pulled out some books that I packed to do homework in and scattered them on the bed.

My gaze shifted to my bag once more and hand hovered over the diary, I sighed before picking it up and going to my table, I pulled out my chair and switched the lamp on.

I opened the diary and turned to page one...


End file.
